So Many Babies

I'm feeling really optimistic this month, like maybe it really could be our month. I know I ovulated, and that is good enough news after the last two years of my ovulations being poor or non existent, but obviously the ultimate goal is to get pregnant. Ovulating is still a success though. Today I feel like there are so many babies out and about, the weather is finally nice so most of them are probably just out for walks, but my jealousy is out full blown. I think of how I should have my baby here by now, and my three year old, but instead am left with empty arms. It is life though, and we all move forward. "Can you get me some warm water to warm the baby's formula?"- of course, with a smile. As a person who generally does not get jealous, it amazes me the jealousy that comes out at people I do not even know, who have the exact life I want. There is one other woman I know who is going through the same thing, but we do not talk about it, our relationship isn't at a place where I think it is appropriate as we know each other very superficially. However, I want so bad to reach out to her. She is going through secondary infertility, but really it is the same fight. IF tears us all down to the same place.

So for today, we just pray for tomorrow, after all, it will always come.