Rough night

I wasn't going to write, but at this point I don't think I'd sleep if I didn't get some of this out. I was doing okay all day, not great, and felt sick because of all the hormones, which is really nothing new. But it's the little things, the babies on tv, the christenings, baby showers, and friends children to take care of that bring back every ounce of pain that comes with IF. Right now we are just waiting and wishing and praying that this month was a success. And honestly I feel so good, or did until today. I have resisted buying anything baby despite the overwhelming urges. As all of us do, I'll buy baby things here and there, just hoping that we'll soon need them. But I am afraid if I do, we'll be unsuccessful again. Crazy, but I'm afraid of anything that could screw this up.

This is something I don't see much of, but I have to assume the rest of you do the same, we all do right? Some women have whole nursery's made up, but I couldn't. It would be too hard to look at all the time. I keep all baby things tucked away in places where I only see them when I want to, it's almost like a comfort. Just hoping and praying we'll need them soon....