Hydronephrosis Part II

So today was back to the high risk OB, and sure enough hydronephrosis is still there. The right kidney is almost all better, and only 5 mm but the left kidney is about 1.2 cm and minimally functional. It is a pelvic, or ectopic, kidney and this is likely what has caused the problem as it is squished in the pelvis. We are being sent to children's hospital Boston for more tests, ultrasound, MRI, and others, and will know more after that. The kidney has 3 balloon like structures in it, from the swelling, but the other I am relieved to know is much better and should function normally. The hospital is rated first in the country for pediatric urology so I am reassured that they will do whatever baby needs to do well, and they have said I should still be able to deliver on the Cape which I am thankful for. He said it is possible, but not likely, that any future children will have this, and that the treatment could range from antibiotics to surgery, but it will almost definitely require some form of therapy. The baby is measuring 1 lb 13 ounces and a few days ahead, putting our EDD at 12/23 now. It's hard to believe something is wrong with our angel, but we will do whatever we have to to heal our baby.

Half way there!

So this week marks the half way journey in our pregnancy, and I am still nervous but getting very excited. Baby has been kicking for weeks and they have started to get much stronger, we have had another 2 ultrasounds and found out that baby has some kidney problems, called hydronephrosis meaning that fluid is there that is not supposed to be. This can resolve before birth but if not may require surgery and antibiotics as well as continued treatment, and creating greater worry, it is a marker for down syndrome. I am leaning towards baby being a boy because it is far more common in boys and also has better outcomes for them, but on the u/s I didn't see any boy bits when they looked at the legs. I was trying not to look though so I could very well be wrong.

OH has been so wonderful and is getting so excited. One night we were at a baseball game and he caught a ball and gave it to a little boy next to us, and he said it made him feel so good to make him happy, and it made me so happy to see him like that. It was something little, but it was so sweet and melted my heart, and that same night he said he really wished our baby was here now. We did our registry and it was so exciting seeing him so happy and excited, despite all the recent worry about health problems with the baby. Otherwise all is well, I'm just starting to get uncomfortable, especially my back, but hopefully it won't get too much worse.

Second Trimester

So I have not posted as I thought I would, because I have been so worried about getting excited. But we are officially 12 weeks now and I'm breathing a little easier, will be more relieved after next doctor appointment at 14 weeks. First scan at 6 weeks showed one baby with hb of 118, which was good for that early. We will be telling his family this week and maybe mine, then going public to everyone else after that. I broke down and got a few maternity things on Friday because my pants are just too tight to comfortably wear! Due date after ultrasound was changed to December 27th which is also what I had calculated from ovulation date, though last period made due date the 24th. So we will be having a Christmas or new years baby, making the holidays rather hectic this year, but I wouldn't change that for the world. After trying so hard for this baby, I will do anything to get to see him or her healthy at the end.

BFP!!!!!

OH MY GOD, after 15 months and 16 cycles of ttc, I got a bfp today! I haven't even told dh yet as he is not home, but want him to be the first to know! I am so excited, and will continue to blog here through at least the first trimester. As I saw a thousand times, we all get our BFP's eventually. Called doctor to confirm pregnancy, hopefully soon! And since I was taking Clomid, I'm a little worried about multiples, but I just have to wait that one out! So much baby dust to the rest of you!!!

Almost Over

Today is almost over, and I don't know if I am looking forward to tomorrow. I used one of my left over opk's and it had no second line AT ALL. That has never happened before, but I am looking at it as a bad sign, even though I am only 12 DPO. I have been having some cramps today in the last few hours and am praying that it is not the beginning of af :( but I'll find out soon enough I guess. I hate how this has taken over my life and my relationship. It's like I have failed as a woman.

A Few More Days

Yup, I walked out of work crying today, one of the many joys of infertility. How many times can you tell your coworkers you are just having a rough day? Thank goodness it was short lived and the rest of the day went smoothly for the most part. I thought about testing, but I am trying to wait until at least Tuesday to do so. My boobs hurt so bad, but I've had some cramping today and I'm afraid its going to be AF soon... Praying I'm wrong! Hubby has all but given up on this it seems, he has not had SA done because we are pretty sure the problem lies with me with the endo and poor ovulations, but a part of me still wonders if it could be him. He's been to the doc, just not gotten the sample to the lab yet. I don't want to push him because he seems to be pretty worried about what they might find, but even if it is bad, I think I would rather just know. I mean at least then I could stop all these hormones and we could move forward with a better plan. But I do think it is me, or maybe both of us I guess? In which case it would be worth nagging him about. I just don't know... Let's see how this month ends. Fingers crossed!!

Hope

I have hoped and I have prayed today, that this is the month. Granted it's happened or not already, but I will hold on to this hope until I'm proven right or wrong. My bb's are bigger and getting sore, and still creamy cm, but the biggest thing I've noticed is how tired I have been, just yesterday and today as well as some cramping three days ago. And my skin is breaking out like crazy! I'm going to wait a few more days to test, but really don't want to wait. I'll keep this posted.... Baby dust!